i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
