Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
