I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
