I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize