I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
