Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
