Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
