we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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