from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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