I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
