I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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