2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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