Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
