we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize