He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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