so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
