Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
