The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
