Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
