either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need a beard to bite.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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