I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
