this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
