And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
