I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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