i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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