All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
