So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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