I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
