get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
