Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
