fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
