He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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