are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The power of my boobs compel you
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
