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i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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