i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
