What a fucking waste of an outfit
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
