Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
