It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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