Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
