just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
