OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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