I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize