Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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