You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
