Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
