Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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