I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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