Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have aggressive nipples.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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