My hand turned me down
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
