idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
