So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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