Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
