remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
