I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
