A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
