Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize