***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
