did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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