The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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