Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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