It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
