i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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