I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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