I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
