Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
