xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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