But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
