I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
