i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
