he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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