id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
